Cookie's NFL Investment Strategies: Week 4

Written by Cookie
Friday, 02 October 2009 16:09

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After 3 Weeks, Cookie has picked winners against the spread in 33 of 48 games. You can't afford not to read his picks for Week 4.

Week 1-2 results. Week 3 results.

Me on major fire. Me running a 70% win rate against spread and have over 40% return on investment, and that after Barely Legal strippers and Cuban Cigars for new NOLAFugees dad. Show me another sports pundit in country who nailing games like me. Me recommend you tell all your friends. Now to Week 4.

Detroit 1-2 at Chicago 2-1 (-10)
Me have Detroit last week and they come through. Me figure that it their Super Bowl and that it all downhill from here.
Me lay 220 on Chicago Result: Chicago 48, Detroit 24 +200

Cincinnati 2-1 at Cleveland 0-3 (+6)
Like Lafcadio Hearn say, me rather live in sackcloth and ashes than watch two shit teams from Ohio. Me big fan of Hearn. He about opium and whores since way back when. Anyway, Browns lose heartbreaker but cover.
Me lay 220 on Cleveland Result: Cincinnati 23, Cleveland 20 +200

Oakland 1-2 at Houston 1-2 (-9.5)
Texans not good enough to give so many points. Me looking for Oakland to keep the six people who watch this game interested.
Me lay 330 on Oakland Result: Houston 29, Oakland 6 -330

Seattle 1-2 at Indianapolis 3-0 (-10.5)
Me getting on board Peyton Manning express. Six more weeks of hype to go before engine leak oil.
Me lay 220 on Indianapolis Result: Indianapolis 34, Seattle 17   +200

Tennessee 0-3 at Jacksonville 1-2 (+3)
Me read where Jacksonville thinking about playing some games in Orlando. Good. Now they can be blacked out in two markets.
Me lay 330 on Tennessee Result: Jacksonville 37, Tennessee 17   -330

New York Giants 3-0 at Kansas City 0-3 (+9)
Me have good feeling about Matt Cassel this week. Then again, me have good feeling last week. But how can me say no to 9 points at home. Eli bound to lay egg on road.
Me lay 220 on Kansas City Result: New York Giants 27, Kansas City 16 -220

Baltimore 3-0 at New England 2-1 (-2)
Game test of how grim a season it going to be for Tom Brady. If he ballet his way around Raven defense, me look to go heavy in future. If he get ass kicked, he may start thinking about future career steps. For now, me feel ass-kicking.
Me lay 330 on Baltimore Result: New England 27, Baltimore 21 -330

Tampa Bay 0-3 at Washington 1-2 (-7.5)
Me beloved 'Skins lay down for Lions last week. Now it time for them to revive Bucs season.
Me lay 220 on Tampa Bay Result: Washington 16, Tampa Bay 13   +200

Buffalo 1-2 at Miami 0-3 (+2)
Shit game, but it Bills game to win unless they get creative in their desire for self-immolation.
Me lay 330 on Buffalo Result: Miami 38, Buffalo 10 -330

New York Jets 3-0 at New Orleans 3-0 (-7)
Which 3-0 record turn out to be bullshit? Probably both, but no matter. No one in Who Dat land possibly believe Saints go to bye week 4-0. Local sports talk radio not equipped to go two weeks without something to bitch about. (Note to Police Chief Riley: Jets fans vile. Me endorse liberal use of night stick and taser when they out in Quarter being assholes.)
Me lay 330 on New York Jets Result: New Orleans 24, New York Jets 10 -330

Dallas 2-1 at Denver 3-0 (+3)
Ahh, Broncos. Me owe me bankroll to your inflated record. But can me count on you to put Romo career in further question? Or are you in tank for NFL bigwigs as payback for all the rigged games you win in Shanahan Era at Mile High (me sorry, Invesco)? This a real conundrum, but when in doubt me always err on side of corruption.
Me lay 330 on Dallas Result: Denver 17, Dallas 10 -330

St. Louis 0-3 at San Francisco 2-1 (-10)
Heartbreaking loss last week for Niners, but not for me. They cover easy. Still, no Frank Gore render team nearly useless. Rams show ability to keep it close against bad teams. Fuck it. Me take points.
Me lay 220 on St. Louis Result: San Francisco 35, St. Louis 0 -220

San Diego 2-1 at Pittsburgh 1-2 (-7)
Steelers have history of owning Chargers, plus Big Ben love glory of night games. Me also want side action on how many times Cris Collinsworth say "blue-collar fans." It like watching Hillary Clinton do shots with union workers.
Me lay 330 on Pittsburgh Result: Pittsburgh 38, San Diego 28 +300

Green Bay 2-1 at Minnesota 3-0 (-3.5)
Me hear this game have significance. Grizzled QB with chip on shoulder go up against old team who betray him. League so juiced for game me hear NFL Films going to set highlight reel to porn soundtrack.
Me lay 220 on Green Bay Result: Minnesota 30, Green Bay 23 -220