Cookie's NFL Investment Strategies: Week 6

Written by Cookie
Thursday, 15 October 2009 19:58

Frustrated by the last couple of weeks, Cookie pushes his luck in week 6.

Week 1-2 results Week 3 results Week 4 results Week 5 results

Me have piddling week last week, dropping nearly a G. Pats and Jets screw me big. Me still running ahead, but this week me amp up wagers a bit to get back some momentum.

Houston 2-3 at Cincinnati 4-1 (-5)
Bengals pull out gritty road victory last week at Ravens, trying to sucker me into believing. Me not fooled, but Texans suck, so what can me do?
Me lay 220 on Cincinnati Result: Houston 28, Cincinnati 17  -220

Detroit 1-4 at Green Bay 2-2 (-14)
Lions gamely cover spread last week, and Vegas reward them with even more points. Look like sucker bet to me. Look for Packers to run up score to avenge loss to Favre.
Me lay 220 on Green Bay Result: Green Bay 26, Detroit 0   +200

St. Louis 0-5 at Jacksonville 2-3 (-10)
Me read where Rush Limbaugh cut out of investment group looking to buy Rams. Aparently, F-16 flyovers and flags the size of Montana all just a ruse to hide NFL real liberal agenda. Me say anyone trying to make people watch Rams-Jaguars game be indicted for torture.
Me lay 220 on Jacksonville Result: Jacksonville 23, St. Louis 20  -220

Baltimore 3-2 at Minnesota 5-0 (-3)
Looking for sneak preview into how Favre going to look late in season when games really count? This game for you.
Me lay 330 on Baltimore Result: Minnesota 33, Baltmore 31  +300

New York Giants 5-0 at New Orleans 4-0 (-3)
Will Bobby Hebert throw an "Up Yours" at Eli Manning? Will Archie Manning retaliate with golf club? And will it not fucking rain for once so me can hang out in Handsome Willy's courtyard for victory party?
Me lay 330 on New Orleans Result: New Orleans 48, New York Giants 27  +300

Cleveland 1-4 at Pittsburgh 3-2 (-14)
Browns break cherry last week with riveting 6-3 victory over Bills. Meanwhile Steelers allow Lions to hang around and cover. Return of Polamalu big emotional boost. Steelers cover just with defensive touchdowns.
Me lay 330 on Pittsburgh Result: Pittsburgh 27, Cleveland 14  -330

Carolina 1-3 at Tampa Bay 0-5 (+3)
You feeling sense of urgency from Buccaneer players? Me neither. You feeling Jake Delhomme pondering long retirement in Breaux Bridge, signing autographs at crawfish festival? Me too.
Me lay 330 on Carolina Result: Carolina 28, Tampa Bay 21  +300

Kansas City 0-5 at Washington 2-3 (-6.5)
Just when me cut Matt Cassel dead, he go and catch Cowboys mailing one in at Arrowhead. Me going to have to take points here and bank on more Redskins magic keeping it close.
Me lay 330 on Kansas City Result: Kansas City 14, Washington 9  +300

Philadelphia 3-1 at Oakland 1-4 (+14.5)
Philadelphia good at rolling over shitty teams. Oakland good at rolling over.
Me lay 440 on Philadelphia Result: Oakland 14, Philadelphia 9  -440  (SUCK IT, PHILLY!!)

Arizona 2-2 at Seattle 2-3 (-3)
In division where 8-8 win title, every game count. Even if no one watch.
Me lay 220 on Arizona Result: Arizona 27, Seattle 3  +200

Tennessee 0-5 at New England 3-2 (-9.5)
Me getting fed up with Patriots inability to cash me in. If they not cover measly 9.5 at home against winless Titans, me go to Foxboro and piss on end zone lighthouse.
Me lay 330 on New England Result: New England 59, Tennessee 0  +300

Buffalo 1-4 at New York Jets 3-2 (-10)
Bills suck ass last week at home versus Cleveland. Me also tired of pissing way money on Sanchez. He can't screw me 3 consecutive weeks.
Me lay 330 on New York Jets Result: Buffalo 16, New York Jets, 13   -330

Chicago 3-1 at Atlanta 3-1 (-3.5)
Falcons dance on 49ers last week like they auditioning for Ludacris video. Good times in ATL Sunday night. Any chance Ciara do NBC theme song?
Me lay 220 on Atlanta Result: Atlanta 21, Chicago 14  +200

Denver 5-0 at San Diego 2-2 (-4)
Now we see how much Belichick magic Josh McDaniels inherit. If Chargers lose in improbable, embarrassing way, me know McDaniels really have Genie bottle. Question is, will they lose by more than 4, or will it be heartbreak? This why Monday Night Football so much more dramatic than "House."
Me lay 440 on Denver Result: Denver 34, San Diego 23   +400


Current Bankroll: $11450 (+1450 for season) Week 6 Results: 9-5  (+960)
Total wagered for Week 6: $3900 + $390 vig = $4290
Record against spread: 43-32 (57.3%)